


I Don't Like Fandom Eridan

by TigerMoonBETA



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Black Romance, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor Black Romance, F/M, Homestuck - Freeform, M/M, Minor Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor, Minor Sollux Captor/Feferi Peixes, POV Eridan Ampora, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Red Romance, Sadstuck, eridan - Freeform, eridan ampora - Freeform, ish, it's like real life like if the trolls were living today and such, its kinda confusing but so is homestuck, minor feferi peixes/ eridan ampora
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 06:17:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3436598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TigerMoonBETA/pseuds/TigerMoonBETA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on http://thegayfuchsia.tumblr.com/post/112070814015/united-states-of-wwhatevver-crystallineabyss<br/>(including the comments w/ it)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Like Fandom Eridan

After the game, things went haywire, but with the help of the kids and some doomed timeline bubble buddies, things went mostly back to normal. Feferi fulfilled her destiny after all, and brought two races together. Trolls and humans coexist on the same planet. As said, went back to normal, or atleast, as normal as it could possibly get. All the time you spent in the game, seemed to have vanished- aside from the all too real memories you have of its utter hell, it almost as if it didn't happen. 

Your name is Eridan Ampora. You are 6 sweeps old. And you still remember the game.

You sit down at your computer and crack your knuckles.

You hate using your husktop.  
Not in fear of Karkat and his shitty coding and the possibility of downloading a virus he sends. Not in spite of Sollux, who really doesn't care all that much if you hate video games but still play them with him because you want to undo what you did in the game. Not because Sollux sometimes yells at you for clicking on ads, because you don't really use the internet a lot and you end up on a lot of sketchy sites (not from trying to watch porn). Because even though youre only 6 sweeps, youve lived (in the dream bubbles) through atleast triple that and youve realized you made mistakes during Sburb. Youre not the only one who did and youre not sure if you owe Feferi anything even though she tried to kill you.  
There are so many reasons you could hate the internet, and almost none of them apply. 

You hate the internet because people think they know you.

Because for some fucking reason, your story went viral. The torturous tale of Sburb published under Homestuck. And when youve almost forgotten about the shit you went through, and the shit you put others through, there's a constant reminder that goes something like: http://www.mspaintadventures.com  
Everything you were looking to get over with, stuff buried years away, suddenly remembered with the click of a button.

And maybe it wouldnt' be so bad. Because Aradia didn't care about all the drama because she was glad to have her friends back, Tavros didn't have much to say, Sollux laughed a little bit when he read the dialogue on page 4367 then continued to avoid you, Karkat probably was going to yell at his past self but stopped midway. Nepeta got chastised by Equius for not hiding when he told her to, and Kanaya still looks at you funny, and Terezi would look at you funny but she can't see. But she started ranting about justice and how she should have known you were a murderer all long. And Vriska laughed even harder at page 4367. And Gamzee was too high to understand but still felt kinda sorry but was certainly not the same. And Feferi, well... things are weird with Feferi but being how optimistic she is, she did her best to forgive you, because you weren't actually at that much fault.

But it was worse. Because so many people read the story. So many people know what you would die to un-known.  
And so many people have you all wrong.

You sniff and scroll through your tumblr dash.

You aren't a desperate pathetic troll.  
You didn't beg for Feferi to love you.  
The humans didn't really understand.

Sure, some trolls understood, because hey. They're your species. Humans aren't and therefore couldn't truly understand what it was like for you. By caste right, you could have killed Karkat, Sollux, Vriska (though that one is tricky), Kanaya (and you did but you didnt the second time), whomever was below you. But you didn't. 

You didn't kill out of jealousy, you killed out of selfdefense.

You let Feferi go be with someone else, even though it hurt, and you were okay with it.  
And you actually weren't quadrantless, and had filled your quadrants more times than most any troll out of the twelve, even though you were only 6. (Really, think about it.)

You weren't JUST a tool, even though you were one (it even says so in your introduction). But you were MORE. You were a thirteen year old boy, whose mental stability shattered when your world ended and you were part of only 12 people whose races' survival depended on you, and you spent a long time alone on a planet where no one wanted to visit. 

You were just an over dramatic, dorky kid who loved wizards and science. 

You killed someone's lusii almost every day just to keep Gl'bgolyb quiet, intern keeping your race alive.

You were actually pretty smart, and loved to study history. 

You were a kid, forced into an adult situation.

 

You were a lot of things.

But a blubbering 'wweh', desperate, bucket obsessed asshole, wasn't one of them.

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------

You sigh and close the browser. No.  
You will not deal with this right now.

Instead, you open up Trollian.

You talk to Fef- like actually talk- for the first time in a while. You ask how she has been, and everything a good friend and good troll should. And you apologize.

You bother Sol- with a few innocent jabs at him, receiving a few aswell. Full of hate, and detest. Which, you expect. 

You nag at Karkat- seeing how he is. He still is rude and obnoxious and types in grey text. 

You talk to everyone, even the kids. And you hate that you have to have your account set to 'can only message if chums' and 'do not show chum requests' because everyone tries to add you.

You understand now that, even though you're a kid and can still be snarky and crass (and that's perfectly okay), you have to atleast try to right what you wronged. It isn't easy because all the memories from the game make it hard for things to be normal. But most everyone agreed to try and rebuild the relationships you had. Especially once the kids became aware of how violated your friendships were, and insisted it wasn't healthy. 

Your mental state is still shattered, and it aches from the game.

Everyone is still a bit cracked.

But you're starting to get better.  
And you can hold better relationships, and not get jealous. (yes, you got jealous and you hurt but never killed for that reason). And you can know

"TA: ♥  
CC: ♥"

happened, and not feel angry in the wrong way when you type

"CA: ♠  
TA: ♠ "  
or  
"CA: ♦  
CC: ♦"

Or whatever the case may be.   
Because even though you're only 6 sweeps, you've been around for so many more, and can know not all hope has been lost.


End file.
